I dream big dreams (when not in the occasional throes of self-doubt), but I wait too long before acting… on most things. Not so much work; at least it’s not that bad when it comes to work. I’m so passionate about work, I dedicated my reproductive years to work. Actually, I bent my nose to the grindstone 22 years ago and didn’t really look up until recently, when I realised I had somehow achieved, in essence, what I intended to achieve. I also realised that time had flown and with it a good portion of my life.
Still, I am skilled in my specialist field of journalism – I write, edit, create, produce and present for TV, Radio, Print and web. I’ve won awards in each medium. I am one of a few Jamaican journalists who has experience across all these mediums. (I never blow my own horn, but bear with me, I’m making a point).
Today, I am a newspaper editor and proud of it! Along the way, I have been a TV News anchor/producer/TV and Radio news editor; I’ve hosted discussion programmes on Radio and TV, planned huge events coverage; managed a large team of diversely talented characters/reporters. They liked me when I wasn’t being miserable and demanding excellence (I think). They seemed to respect me, despite all my flaws and mistakes. (I hope). I’ve travelled and met interesting people and had incredible experiences.
I’m proud I managed to achieve all this doing something I love, though my lover (journalism) has been cruel to me sometimes, and I am still far, far, far… did I say FAR… from having money. But, I am grateful. Somehow, I got where I had envisioned myself being so many years ago. I got there despite my innate flaw of procrastination. However, I am the first to admit that I have missed opportunities because of it; scholarships, better paying jobs, travel opportunities.
I used to call it singularity of mind, that I had to be uber-focussed on doing my job 24/7. I would tell myself: One day… one day, I’m gonna do ‘X’. But I was so bogged down in doing my job as best as I could; sacrificing time, money, energy, relationships, that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I couldn’t sort out the ‘after journalism’ part, the non-work-related part, the ‘just for fun and sheer joy’ part. I put off advanced studies, subconsciously avoided marriage and kids, ignored the clock ticking away.
So, for my 2013 dreamboard, (yes, I do one every year, but now its not just a list, it has pics and cutouts and tags and is virtual, thanks to Oprah.com, lol), I am going to start plotting my journey to Santorini, Greece (don’t care if it’s bankrupt, I’ve wanted to go there since I was 14 years old sprawled on the floor of my High School’s ‘Old Library’ poring through mouldy, 1960’s editions of National Geographic magazine).
I don’t known when I will get there, or how, but I’m putting this dream out there in the universe. That’s what I did 22 plus years ago when I took the CARIMAC entrance exam at the University of the West Indies in defiance of my Dad’s dreams for me to do law. I put the dream of what I hoped to become out there in the universe and look at what happened.
‘Ask, Believe, Receive’ is a tenet proposed in the best-selling self-actualisation tome, ‘The Secret‘ by Rhonda Byrne. I have always believed in the power of visualisation, and was taught and experienced the power of prayer and faith in my life. I ‘miraculously’ tended to get what I wanted if I prayed on it and believed it was mine. That’s how I got my first car, my house in 2012, my current job, my lecturing gig. It could take days, or weeks, or years, but it usually came to me. Sometimes, though, this power got muted by my procrastinating, or my inability to focus on anything outside of work, or being distracted by rough patches in life and complaining bitterly, unendingly sometimes about same.
But every new year, cheesy as it sounds, really does represent a chance to renew old promises to oneself. So, since the Mayan doomsday has passed and I am still here, I resolve to refresh some old, NON-WORK-RELATED dreams, one of which is to visit, Santorini, Greece. Universe, are you listening?
PS:- I still battle the procrastination demon daily like a caffeine addict in a Pepsi wharehouse… lol